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Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Review: Dc Universe Rebirth #1

This issue opens up with watch pieces and narration. Yes totally what I wanted to read about. The watch maker and how he lost track of time cause all the watches he made broke. Anyways next we see Wally West break into the batcave. You know Wally just cause you can run real fast and are stuck on the edges or in the edges of time doesn't give you the right to break into places. That's like if Batman broke into places cause he's rich and kicks lots of ass as Batman. We see Wally try and tell Batman something but sadly fails because well he broke in and the universe won't stand for him pulling that shit. Maybe try knocking on the door next time Wally. Next we get more narration and we find out How Wally West got his powers. See I highly doubt The Flash taught Wally to break into places just cause he has super speed. We find out about Linda Park and how her and Wally love each other so much that when she says his name or he thinks about her or something it always btings him back to her. So why not do that then? Why is your first thought to break into someones place? I mean sure you have super speed but that don't give you the right. I mean that'd be like if Superman broke down someones door and said sorry I'm from a different planet so I didn't know that doing that was breaking the law. Also I'm Superman so just shut up and deal with me breaking into your home. We see Wally break into some old guys room... dude really? Also what are you trying to kill the poor man off by giving him a heart attack? If so what'd he do to you? Hey you little punk quit running so fast. And if he said that to you I'm pretty sure it's cause you were going over the speed limit or something. We get another page which I found boring then a page with a crazy lady who thinks she can see into the future just cause she stole a flash ring. Oh look he finally thought of Linda Park after spying on Aquaman and his wife. I'm beginning to think Wally really loves to break into places just cause he has super speed and loves to spy on people just cause he has super speed. Anyways so he tries to get Linda to take his hand. I'm surprised he didn't tell her to come with him if she wanted to live or asked if she trusted him. Sadly Linda says she doesn't know who he is. Dude I don't blame her you've been a jerk this whole issue by breaking into peoples places, spying on people and even trying to give an old man a heart attack. I mean heck if you'd acted like the superhero you supposedly are I'm sure she'd remember you. Anyways next we get a scene with Green Arrow and Black Canary. I'm sure that if she's alive in the comic books somehow the tv show will take control of the writers and make them kill her off. Also they killed her off in ghe tv show which was extremely stupid. You hear that Arrow tv show writers better bting back Black Canary and kill the right woman this time. So Wally goes to The Flash who remembers Wally and brings him back into our world. I'm surprised he didn't break into Barry Allens home. Anyways Wally tells The Flash what happened to them all. Also dude it turned me into a jerk so I might break into your house later cause I have super speed. This issue ends with Batman finding the smiley face from the watchmen movie and comic book series. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise huh. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Isn't it stupid how DC Comics has to blame someone else for most their series being shit instead of actually owning the blame snd saying we screwed up and we took ten years off all the superheros lives. I mean it doesn't surprise me since they protect some guy who harasses women and promotes him instead of firing him because hey they need to show the world that most of them have a really low iq. Things I learned from this issue. Wally West is a jerk. He'll spy on you and break into your house just cause he has super speed. Damit Wally get out of my house!

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