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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Review: Deathstroke #4

This issue opens up with Slade Wilson and Letter F using some kind of raido signal to unlock or get in Bronze Tigers head. Note to self avoid people with the letter f on their face, a guy with one eye and two swords and a guy who calls himself Bronze Tiger. Definitely sounds like being around these people would get you hurt. Anyways Deathstroke injects Letter F with some truth serum which causes them to get in a fight also causing Deathstroke to tear some of Letter Fs clothing revealing breast. Don't worry they're covered by a bra so you don't have to cover your eyes though I know my mormon friend would tell me just looking at the panel is a sin so I'll cover my eyes till we get yo her face so I don't burn in hell. Is it on her face yet? Oh ya forgot I had to flip the page and remove my fingers so I can see. Guess I'll have to see that panel with her jugs and burn in hell. Dam Letter F is one hot chick and a red head to. You know what they say about red heads they're feisty in and out of bed I'd definitely spend a night with Letter F ;). We find out that Letter Fs name is Kendal James. Kendal James tells Slade Wilson about the company she works for. Next we meet some members of the dead bastards. Oh hey Angelica is alive. She has healing powers... I don't think they mentioned that in the first issue if so I missed it. She's also hot I wouldn't mind spending a night with her and Kendal James ;). Next we see Jericho in gotham trying to meet up with his sister somewhere. Rose ends up meeting him at some place where a bunch of punks hang out and kills them all before they can hurt her brother. Hey ain't nothing wrong with killing for family. Next we see Deathstroke and Harley Quinn on top of a Train. Out of all the girls I've seen in this issue I definitely would have no problem marrying Harley Quinn she trumps them all including my crazy ex girlfriend. This issue ends with Harley Quinn leading Deathstroke into set up or trap whatever you'd like to call it. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good lots of hot chicks. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. I would definitely have a fun time with Harley Quinn anytime :).

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Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #16.1

This issue opens up with Spider-Man just swinging through town till he comes a bunch of cops at a construction site. Wait I thought construction workers worked at a construction site not cops. Oh they're trying to see if some guy named Tombstone is there makes sense. Wait his name is Tombstone I mean wouldn't that be weird if he died to put his name on a Tombstone since his name is Tombstone. Ow now my head hurts. Anyways Spider-Man and the cops get shot at. Next we see Tombstone ask who shot and one of the guys said he did cause he thought a cop raised his gun. Um ya probably at Spider-Man cause he just dropped in unannounced but not you guys. Also now whenever I see Tombstone talking all I picture is a Tombstone talking. Spider-Man takes out Tombstone and all his men. Next we see the judge release Tombstone since they couldn't understand a word. Teddy said... um no shit he's in a coma you dumbass. Anyways next we see Yuri at Teddys funeral when the dark one... I mean Mister Negative give her a picture of judge howell getting pills from one of Tombstones men. Never heard of Mister Negative but I have to wonder if someone took a picture of him would it come out normal since he's already negative? Next we Spider-Man and someone called the wraith go to a construction site. This issue ends with The Wraith getting some papers from a vault on judge howell. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty confusing since I haven't read the other issues of the amazing spider-man. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember if you meet some who looks negative and says their name is Mister Negative take a picture of them to see if the picture shows up normal.

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Monday, September 28, 2015

Review: Wytches #6

This issue opens up with Sailor and her dad trying to find a way out of the big tree that the hippies like to stick people in. I'm sure I already put in my notes to avoid hippies so I won't bother writing that again. But if you guys have read this story or at least my reviews then you'll understand why I hate hippies. Anyways Sailor and her dad go a different way he came and come to an edge where Charlie decides to drop a flare... I don't think that was the smartest idea. Yep looks like you just got a chunk of your shoulder bitten off. Next we see Charlie shoot one in the face and light another flare to keep them away and to help them find a way out. Sailor and her dad finally escape and get out of the tree. How come all these other people we saw stuck in the trees never got out? Did they like give up after so many tries or did they not have enough muscle to break the bark and escape? Anyways Sailor and her dad get home. We see Charlie telling his wife that they need to leave then get shot at by the towns people. Oh geez I'd hate to live in a town full of tree huggers I'd go crazy. Next we see Lucy smack Sailor and send her falling down the basement stairs. Charlie ends up going to the stairs to see if Sailor is ok we also see that his wife was the one who pledged Annie and Sailor... note to self when looking for a wife mske sure she's not a tree hugger and doesn't believe in Wytches. Lucy tells Charlie that she's related to the Cray family. Read issue one so you'll understand what she means. Also with the name cray no wonder they tried to give their son to the Wytches. I definitely should have seen that from the start with the last name Cray. Charlie ends up getting some green stuff that I guess is pledge and putting some on his wifes face and giving the rest to Sailor. Oh hell ya shits gonna go down! We see Sailor climb out the basement window and come face to face with Melina the one who told her about dick brush kid. Sailor gets a garden hose and some of the pledge in a spray thing and sprays Melina and everyone else. Next we see Mr. Petal also known as extreme hippie try to take Sailor away so he can eat her but instead gets his neck cut from a broken piece of Sailors glssses. Fuck yes! This issue ends with Sailor driving away from that town. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise fucking awesome. I also love how they explained more about the kid in issue one and his family. Definitely can't wait to read the next arc. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if you live in a town full of hippies get out of there before they stick you in a tree or try to kill you. And if you don't know how to tell if they're your in town full of hippies look for such details as they all talk about plants and trees then you'll know you're in a town full of hippies.

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Saturday, September 26, 2015

Review: Convergence #5

This issue opens where we left off with Brainiac being summoned. Brainiac keeps asking to be released and Telos tells Deimos to release him... um Taloes that might not be such a good idea I mean have you seen how powerful Deimos looks now. Deimos shows Taloes that he used to be a man before he became a planet. He shows Taloes that Brainiac attacked his home planet and told him he'd save his people if he pledged himself to Brainiac forever. Probably not the best idea since he then put the city to fight in the convergence which means they probably already have died where Taloes had no memory of them till now. Anyways we see Red son- I mean Tara and the Warlord riding towards the castle but get attacked along the way. Oh hell no they just killed red- I mean Tara. What they both kind of look alike except she has cloth covering her instead of metal. Although wouldn't metal get real hot during the summer and really cold during the winter? Makes you kinda wonder why Red Sonja didn't go with cloth or animal skin instead. Anyways lets take our mindd off her since she's not part of this universe. Superman and Deimos fight each other. Well looks more like superman is just holding hands with Deimos while Deimos shoots magic at superman while they hold hands. Superman I think him using magic on you means he's not gay and wants you to stop holding his hands. We see the flash start running fast trying to open the speed force so he can try and push Deimos in... looks that didn't go so well. See superman told you he didn't like holding hands now he's holding you by the collar of your costume. Next we see Warlord battle with Deimos. Is it me or do these guys suck I mean the superheros haven't died but so far these mid evil people are dying left and right I mean look at Warlord he's already dead and old. As the place caves in Deimos saves yolanda. This issue ends with Deimos doing trying to get all the cities in the convergence to pledge their lives to him. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely makes me want to find the other issues and get them to see how it ends. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember you're probably gonna die if you go up against someone who can see the future.

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Friday, September 25, 2015

Review: Silk #3

This issue opens up with Silk getting her ass kicked by none other than Pokémon guy. Yep he's back again but this time as an actual dragon and a new name rage. Really rage? I'm guessing this was another Pokémon he made up for the company that got rejected or stolen by them so he decided he wanted to be that Pokémon cause he made it so powerful that he thought if he was dressed as it he'd be just as powerful. Anyways Silk is still getting her ass kicked. Oh wow she just got punched so hard that she landed in the garbage just like his suit did in issue one. If you have no clue what I'm talking about hurry and go read issue one I'll wait... oh huh you're back. Sorry fell asleep waiting for you to finish reading it. Moving forward we see Rage throw a van on Silk. Still not liking his name. Big loser would probably fit him since he always loses. See told you Silk is back on her feet and kicking his ass big time. Sore loser removes his dragon mask and ask Silk to stop and tells her his sob story. Don't fall for it Silk dang it she just fell for it though it seems like she's giving him an opportunity to get a second chance. Next we see Black Cat kick Silks ass and call her a rookie. Well for a rookie she sure has taken down a lot of bad guys so I don't think rookie status fits her. Next we see sore loser I mean Harris Porter come home to his daughter who is watching the news segment where silk kicked his ass and ask if she's a superhero and even has a drawing of her. Haha that's funny his daughter looks up to the person who keeps kicking his ass thats to funny not to laugh at. This issue ends with Spider-Man bringing the Fantastic Four to Cindys bunker. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely lots of action this issue. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if you're a villain and have a child don't let them watch news segments of superheros kicking your ass or they'll look up to that superhero and not you.

Sites to check out:
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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Review: Return Of The Living Deadpool #4

This issue opens up where we left off with the monk looking Deadpools trying to get Deadpool to join one of their fractions. Deadpool says he doesn't understand their jiberish and then he remembers how he became a free Deadpool. Next we see Deadpool shoot the monks deadpools in the head giving him and Liz a chance to escape on a school bus. Oh no don't remind me of school I definitely don't want to be reminded of my ex and being on a bus with her ex just thinking about school gives me shivers. Anyways Deadpool and Liz finally get to the no d zone. Yes I know I put no d zone but that doesn't mean you have to laugh and be perverted about it. All the people at the no d zone give him worshiping looks. Huh? How can you tell if someone worships you just by the way they look at you? The group leader I guess explains to Deadpool how he's going to sacrifice himself which he agrees to and goes in some weird machine that puts a disease in him that makes him un heal himself. After he gets out of the machine he goes to the Deadpool city and eats and kills all the Deadpools... wait did he really just eat another Deadpool? Note to self avoid anyone dressed up as Deadpool or I'll be eaten. This issue ends with Liz putting on a Deadpool suit. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise great ending. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if people try to get you to join a fraction just stab yourself in the head cause that'll definitely solve your problems.

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Review: Silk #2

This issue opens up with Silk in the sewers along with some robot tentacle thing. Next we see Silk monologing in her head telling us what she does. Super hero by day and night intern for fact channel day and night. Geez I wonder how many hours of sleep super heros normally get cause to me it sounds like Silk doesn't get a lot of sleep. We also see that Cindy is still looking for her family but keeps ending up back at square one. And it seems like Ezekiel sims helped her family dissappear. I get the feeling that he's not dead and is one of the people who is watching her while she's in the bunker. I mean he already sounds and looks evil so maybe he is. Cindy ends up going back to her old neighborhood and remembering the date she had with Hector when she broke up with him. If a girl ever does what Cindy just did I'll just get up and leave cause who has time for that bullshit though she did have good reason for doing it. Next we meet the robot tentacle thing that keeps saying hail hydra. Can someone please get rid of that broken record before I break it. Ok Silks on the job. We see Silk where she first opened the book off and see her destroy the robot tentacle thing before it could say hail hydra over and over again... oh great just reading that thing say hail hydra so many times made my head hurt, go dumbs and ears bleed. Whd u hey I cat hur u? No but I really think I lost some brain cells there. Next we see Silk come out of the sewers and bump into her ex Hector. Cue akward bumping into your ex scene and finding out he's engaged. Well who can blame him to him you ripped his heart out and stomped on it. This issue ends with a dragon flying behind Silk as she swings her way through the city. Let me guess it's that Pokémon guy but as an actual dragon. Read issue one to see if you get what I mean. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely has the right amount of action and other stuff put together sorry couldn't think of the word I was looking for. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Silk seemed really upset after she found out her first love was engaged. Wish I could give her a hug.

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Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Review: Masquerade & Kato ( One Shot )

This issue opens up with a drug deal going bad when Katos car crashes through the front door. Definitely a good way to get kids to stay off drugs just show them a panel from one of these comics then they'll understand what will happen to them if they get mix in with that kind of stuff. Next we meet Masquerade who also meets the courier who gives her a sword. I'll admit some of the swords look cool and I wish I had them. We see Kato chase after her car getting into and learning that she can't control it. If that where me I'd just ditch my car and jump out. Oh look Masquerade is on her car. Masquerade and Kato end up going through a portal in a wall.... are you guys trying to make fun of harry potter now? If some kid or chick with a scar and glasses comes into this series then I'll quit reading it. Anyways after Masquerade and Kato start fighting. My moneys on the red one she's got some pretty cool powers. Masquerade uses her cool power to find out that Katos a good guy. This issue ends with Masquerade kicking purgatoris ass and getting Kato Black Beauty back. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise good I'm guessing a lot of these one shots and side stories or tie ins are gonna have two characters fight and then work together. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember don't summon dark spirts in your car or it'll get possed.

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Review: Spider-Gwen #5

This issue opens up with Matt Murdock looking at some invitation sent to him. Moving on we see the mary janes going to a concert that they get to play at thanks to Felicia Hardy who all the mary jane members hate. Next we meet Felicia Hardy and her giant black cats. Wait why not get real cats to follow you around since you like them so much unless you have a fantasy about a cat... oh ok nevermind I won't finish that sentence. We see the mary janes play a little bit till Felicia Hardy interupts them. Boo get off the stage!  All hell breaks lose when Felicia starts to burn a ond dollar bill. Oh hey ninjas and black cats fighting... wait if a ninja crosses one of those big black cats paths would they get bad luck? Spider-Gwen comes in and kicks ass. Wow she just knocked Felicia out cold. Matt Murdock tells Spider-Gwen that he knows who she really is cause he's been watching her. *gasp*Matt are you saying you're pretending to be blind just so you can watch Spider-Gwen shower and undress. This issue ends with Dewolff telling Captain Stacy something important. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise great ending can't wait to read more :). I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if you ever want to see a girl shower and undress just pretend you're blind.

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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Review: Legenderry Red Sonja #1

This issue opens up with an old man running in the rain. Um you know if your trying to hide frome someone don't run or they'll automatically know where you are. Did no one ever teach this old man this kind of stuff? I mean no one taught me I kinda learned it from reading books and watching movies. Anyways next we meet Red Sonja or the steam punk version of her anyways. We see her dock her ship and go into the cith looking for men to keep her company for the night... so basically a one night stand type of deal. Red Sonja ends up bumping into the old man we saw earlier as he comes running out the bar. This guy just needs to die off already like seriously he's made the same mistake twice. Next we meet the bartender Bitsy and we also see that the old man is back in the bar. Wait so why'd he run out just to go back in? I mean that's also a bad thing to do going to the same place twice definitely lets people know you've been there. We see some zombie looking type of guys walk into the bar asking for the old man which causes him to run causing a fight. Ugh *smacks face* Red Sonja drives the creepy tall guys out the bar which gives our mysterious hooded figure a chance to save the old man which she fails at since Red Sonja attacked her not knowing she was trying to help the old man... guess you should have made that known to her before you tried to help him. This issue ends with us finding out who the mysterious hooded person is. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise good though the old man made to many mistakes so I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember if you're trying to hide from someone don't run or they'll find you also don't visit the same place twice.

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Review: Silk #1

In this issue we meet Silk who you would have already met if you'd read the first six issues for the amazing spider-man or spider verse like I did. Anyways we also meet a villain called Dragonclaw which sounds like a Pokémon so I definitely have to give Silk points for that one. You know I bet one day he got mad after playing the Pokémon games cause he could never catch them all so he decided he'd make one of his own but when he sent his idea to the people who make the Pokémon games and shows they stole his idea causing him to snap and become Dragonclaw himself. Next we meet Cindys parents or pretend parents I guess I don't really know if they're flashbacks or not we also see that Cindy works at the daily bugle and shows Jamenson a picture of silk fighting Dragonclaw Pokémon Man and Spider-Man saving the day which causes him to call Spider-Man a menace. Why after so many years does he not like Spider-Man? Next we see Cindy go on a date with some Hector guy. I'm taking a guess these are flashbacks if I'm wrong oh well. Anyways we see Pokémon Dragonclaw Man and Silk fight again. Dude Silk isn't a Pokémon you won't be able to capture her and put her in your dark scary basement get over your obsession with Pokémon. This issue ends with Cindy going back to the bunker she was in for ten years. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise got me hooked so far. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. And remember just cause you can't catch all the Pokémon doesn't mean you should make one and dress up as it and then terrorize the world.

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Monday, September 21, 2015

Review: Midnighter #2

This issue opens up with someone dying. Let me guess this issue is gonna be pretty violent. Next we see Marina talking to a voice... so she's gone crazy right? We see Midnighter playing pool with Tony and then we get to see Marina attacking some company called Windcrest. No wonder their food killed your husband they have a crappy name which means they sell crappy food. Anyways her and Midnighter get in a fight. And midnighter ki- well actually he's getting  his ass kicked. Geez I thought he was better at this. Next we get to see midnighter on another date with another guy. Let me guess they're gonna have sex and then he's gonna tag this guy to. Actually now that I think about it how many men has midnighter slept with and tagged. Cause that's gotta be akward if you get a new boyfriend if things don't work out and say sorry hope you don't mind that some dude basically made me his by tagging me. I mean if some girl told me that on s date I'd get up and leave. Back to midnighter we see him knocked out but get back up and remove his ears. Wait what the heck? Why?! That'd hurt but it definitely stops her sound waves from hurting him. Kids never try this stuff at home. We see midnighter finally kick ass and stop Marina but then break some guys arm and basically beat the crap out of the people who own the company till they agree to all the terms he made. Someone has a short temper. This issue ends with midnighter fighting robot things I think. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise good. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember if you order food from a place make sure the name doesn't sound crappy or the food will definitely be crappy and kill someone you love.

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Review: Spider-Gwen #4

This issue opens up with some kids trying to vandalize a building that's being built. Um won't your artwork just get covered up when they put the walls on and all that? Anyways Spider-Gwen stops them from vandalizing the metal building but in doing so gets sprayed with spray paint. Next we see Spider-Gwen and the little rascals get in an argument about them spray painting and why she's a hypocrite for getting after them even though she did the same thing. Well you see kids she did it in the name of justice so there for it's justifiable. She lets them go instead of giving them to the police. Well can't blame her there I mean she did the same thing they did so her letting them go makes up for that time she did it which means next time she catches them she can turn them in. Next we see Gwen Stacy go to Peter Parkers house. We also see that Peters aunt and uncle have a mug that says Gwennie The Poo... definitely not embarrassing. Anyways Gwen Stacy and aunt may talk about Peter and how she thinks Spider-Woman is trying to make up for something. No really you think. Next we see Gloria ask Gwen is she's gonna save the day so the band can continue to make music and tells her to take the drumsticks before she hurts her. Ya no more like Gwen would hurt you. This issue ends with Captain Frank Castle returning to work after getting the crap beat out of him by Spider-Gwen. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely can't wait to read the last issue of this arc. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember as long as you do something bad in the name of justice it's justifiable so don't worry.

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Saturday, September 19, 2015

Review: Convergence #4

This issue opens up with Taloes talking about how Dick Grayson and Batmans bond echos throughout all reality. Next we see the flash, green lantern, yolanda and superman attack a castle in Skartaris. Oh hey Red Sonja in this book. What do you mean she's not Red Sonja? Her names Tara. For a second there I thought dc was bringing in characterd from dynamite and dark horse comics. Oh well. We see Taloes telling Dick Grayson about the converge and how him and his friends need to join it. Geez needy much? Anyways Yolanda goes after Deimos since none of them trust him. Deimos uses his dark magic to throw Yolanda into a wall. Geez for someone so powerful he sucks at killing people.  Deimos ends up taking all the power from the time masters and knocking Shakira out. Seriously this guy doesn't seem like much of a villain makes me bored just to see his character. This issue ends with Deimos telling Brainiac that he can free him from his prison. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise alright seemed kinda boring but sure I'll read the next issue. I give this issue a 7 out of 10. Geez reading that issue kinda bored me so I think I'm gonna go sleep now.

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Review: Deathstroke #3

This issue opens up with Slade Wilson walking in the snow. All I could think of when I saw that is these boots are made for walking. Anyways Slade has more flashbacks this time he tells his son that he's gonna get him out of that electric filed and save him. Oh now he's walking in the snow again. Slade has another flashback when he reaches a cabin. In this flashback him and his son are escaping whatever place there in. We see that Jericho has a power that lets him jump at people. I say that's a stupid power but look at the dead sciencetist over there better not call his power stupid or he might jump at me and kill me. Next Slade finds Odysseus and kills him... wait that's his dad? No wonder this family is so messed up but also really good at killing people. After slade finish watching his movie flashback. Flashback is rated r definitely not for kids. Anyways Slade gets in a fight with Bronze Tiger and almost kills him but letter f comes and stops him. Yep kids we get to learn about letters again next thing you know there'll be a guy with a black mask and a giant b on his face. B stands for beating like the beating slade wilson just gave to Bronze Tiger. This issue ends with us meeting a very beautiful face. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good lots of blood and action. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. How is it that Harley Quinn is still beautiful even when she's done beating some guys face in with a bat? Actually let me correct myself I'd say she looked like a hot mess on that panel which is true cause she just got done beating a guys face in which probably got blood on her and yet still looked hot.

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Thursday, September 17, 2015

Review: Star Wars Shattered Empire #1

This issue opens up with spaceships fighting as the rebels wait for the shild covering the death star to fall. I've already seen this part on the movie so why do I need to watch it. Oh I see we get to meet a pretty pilot named Shara. Sorry got districted there. Anyways she almost shoots Luke. Next we see her go to the party that the rebels have on the moon with the ewoks. Oh hey I remember seeing a post on Facebook how they probably fed everyone man jerkey who was their. Oh great someone asked for more man jerkey lmao. Shara gets hit on by Han solos friend and dome other guy. Hey can you blame them she's pretty... though not beautiful like Harley Quinn. Ya I said Harleys better looking than her what you gonna do? Shara finally finds her husband and they get it on. Cue sexy music. This issue ends with them attacking another base on the far side of the moon and finding out some shocking stuff. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise not that good I mean ya the chicks pretty but didn't really make me want to get the second issue so I give this issue a 7 out of 10. Remember if you get in a fight with the empire and ewoks give you meat, turn it down so you don't become a canable.

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Review: Spider-Gwen #3

This issue opens up with Captain Stacy coming home finding his daughter in her spider-gwen outfit sticking to a wall. It's a good thing that was her house cause if it weren't I'm sure it'd scare the hell out of whoever came home to find a person just sticking to their wall. Better yet she can use that to scare the shit out of the villans she goes up against. Captain Stacy tells Gwen she doesn't need to be Spider-Woman that the cops can take care of the villans. Ya you guys have sure done a good job of that.... not. Next we see the vulture fly right through their house window dropping green gas as he crashes through it. Is he trying to become the green goblin now or is that just how bad he stinks that green smoke follows him wherever he goes. Anyways him and Spider-Gwen fight again. Round two fight! Oh looks like Spider-Gwen is kicking the vultures ass. Oh no the vultures green stink is starting to make Spider-Gwen dizzy and sick. What's this the ref captain stacy shoots the vulture in the shoulder. Out he goes through the window. Spider-Gwen runs out and takes the vulture down. Spider-Gwen wins this round folks. Next we see frank castle and Spider-Gwen fight. Oh crap he just frank took her mask off that's definitely not good. This issue ends with Ben Parker taking captain stacy into his house so May Parker can help him get back on his feet. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely has me wanting to read more to find out what happens next. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if you're a villain clean yourself so green smoke doesn't follow you everywhere you go.

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Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Review: Return Of The Living Deadpool #3

This issue opens up with our group at a camp fire well except for Liz. Oh how cute her and Deadpool are bonding. The next morning we see the group get attacked by Deadpools on horses. Well at least they have the good Deadpool on their side. Oh geez Deadpool is a bronie now. I hate bronies they're creepy in so many ways so if you ever tell me you're one when you see me in person don't be surprised when I barf all over you. Anyways Deadpool gets a big hole shot through him... I get that Deadpool heals fast but shouldn't that have killed him or knocked him out for a bit? Like why is he still talking? Just shut up and die already. Oh good some horses smashed his brains out guess they found it ridiculous how he was still talking with a hole that big through his chest. Next we see Deadpool and Liz go to the city of Deadpool. I think Deadpool has a thing for himself. I know my friend will probably get after me for saying this stuff but hey it's the truth. Also my friend who writes the webcomic newcomicday is pretty cool so of course I have to give him crap here since he's a big Deadpool fan. This issue ends with Deadpool finding some weird church worshiping place with Deadpools in robes. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good though still don't understand how he was talking with that big hole through his chest. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Eric you better not turn into a bronie just cause Deadpool is one.

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Review: Spider-Gwen #2

This issue opens up with Spider-Gwen on a boat full of garbage while Spider-Ham sings. Hold on I'm gonna get my tools real quick so I can turn Spider-Ham into bacon. Darn to late it's already on the scene where Spider-Gwen is falling and makes some webbings so she catches the wind and glides safely on the garbage boat. Next we see Captain Stacy at a crime scene with Gwens stuff. I'm taking a guess that she's a rookie cause I don't think a pro would make that mistake. Anyways next we see Gwen Stacy talking to murder face... why give a cat that name? You know what I'm gonna name my pet that when I get a new one. We also see Spider-Ham there with her. Does landing on a boat full of garbage really make you see talking pigs? Guess I'm gonna have to try that now. But anyways hold still Spider-Ham. Not again now we see Matt Murdock chatting with the vulture telling him he better find Spider-Gwen and prove that she's alive so that the kingpin will kill her and not him for killing her. Wait I thought Matt Murdock was a good guy. Are you guys saying he's evil in this universe. If so boo. Again we see Spider-Gwen and Spider-Ham together eating corn dogs. Wait if he's in her head how'd he get a corn dog? Did she eat one and then suddenly it went to him. Cause that'd be pretty weird if she went in the store and asked to get one to so she could feed her imaginary talking pig. Actually now that I think about that I think I'm gonna add that to my bucket list and try it sometime just to see how people react. This issue ends with Spider-Gwen finding her dad in an ally way and telling him that she's looking for him. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good though it made me really hungry. I give this issue a 10 out of 10.  The third issue better have more Spider-Ham so I can catch him and eat him. I swear on my life I will catch him and turn him into bacon.

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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Review: Deathstroke #2

This issue opens up with Deathstroke waking up in his younger body. Wait why is he flipping out then? Heck if I was young or felt young again I'd be happy. Deathstroke hears laughing as he runs down some stairs. Hopefully that isn't a baby laughing cause I don't think Deathstroke has any babys with him in that place. Oh good it's just some armored guy laughing... wait on second thought how is that better than a babys laughter if it's not there. I mean at least Deathstroke could run out of there but instead he has to k- I was gonna say kill this guy but he's just a hologram. Next we meet Red Fury who loves the letter f. No I'm being serious read this issue for yourself and you'll see what I mean. Don't worry I'll wait. Anyways letter f tells Deathstroke about his next target odysseus by the way his name starts with the letter o. Did you get that kids? Good moving on. Letter f leaves while Deathstroke kills three hundred men who really love eyes. I'm not even joking they're wearing armor with one giant eyeball for a helmet. Anyways next we see people praying to a false idol where we also meet Bronze Tiger and Lady Shiva. Dang Lady Shiva take off the hood I want to see your face. This issue ends with Deathstroke drinking some truth serum and having a flashback. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty bloddy but good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember todays review was brought to you by the letter f.

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Review: Outcast #6

This issue opens up with the reverend and Kyle talking by the reverends car. We also see that Sidney is spying on Kyle and the reverend. After Kyle calls Sidneys name he shows himself and says he was just enjoying the sunset. Um I don't think people stand in the bushes to watch the sunset. Normally if they're standing in the bushes they're yanking their meat while watching someone so if you ever spot someone in the bushes and they say they were watching the sunset or view then they mean they were spying on you or yanking their meat at the thought of you. Anyways Kyle and the reverend go to see Mildred the next day. Mildred is mad at the reverend for bringing Kyle over again but he tells her it'd be good for them to get to know each other and that their bringing her more food for the winter. Wait didn't you guys bring her food a few days ago? How much food does she need? I mean I've seen old people eat and they normally don't eat a shit load of food if you bring it over. It just sits their till they have guest over. Kyle ends up grabbing Mildreds hand to show the reverend that his touch hurts deamons yet the reverend still doesn't believe him. I bet if the reverend met barb larsson he'd believe he could exorcise people even though he lies and does it for show and money. Next we see the reverend get home and find Sidney in his house. See told you he was yanking his meat in the bushes earlier. Sidney ends up cutting some mark of his into the reverends flesh. Well now I'm gonna do what the reverend does I'm gonna say that Sidney had a group there with him to tell the reverend that putting satanic marks in his skin was a bad idea and the reverend agreed with them but after they left he marked himself. This issue ends with Kyle going in his moms old room and having flashbacks. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise definitely an amazing close to the first arc can't wait to read the next one :). I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Ok guys I'm gonna go in the bushes and watch the sunset now.

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Monday, September 14, 2015

Review: Convergence #3

This issue opens up with our six heros helping Deimos. The flash scouts ahead for drones but can't find any. Um really how was he supposed to check underground? Not like he has ex ray vision like superman. We see Taloes watching the cities fight except for Kandor. See other cities they have- I was gonna say right idea but Taloes just slaughtered them all so never mind keep fighting and killing each other so he won't kill you. Next we see Batman and Grayson save the day with the batmobile. Wait Batman why are you and Grayson staying behind and not helping your friends? Deimos takes the other half of the group to a place underground called Skartaris. Next we see Batman and Grayson fight a bunchof villains from the other Batmans world... wait are they really getting their asses handed to them oh yay looks like Batman... um blew himself up well that definitely did the job. Anyways next we see Grayson get shot by the joker. Wait I thought he was dead. This issue ends with Taloes snapping the jokers neck. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise getting intresting still seems like it's all over the place but hey it deals with other worlds so guess that's expected. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Hopefully the joker will stay dead this time cause if he comes back from that neck snap that'll mean dc loves him or is just clowning around.

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Review: New Suicide Squad #12

This issue opens up with reverse flash clasping. Well guess he ran out of breath fast. Next we see some league sicincetest trying to figure out what Parasite is made of. We find out that Harley is in a room full of little kids. Yay I'm glad she's not dead :). Amanda waller tries to get a hold of the suicide squad but can't. Should have thought of a better way of getting a hold of them since you knew or probably knew they'd be in an area with crappy signal. Anyways we see Saladin showing Manta the armory and the time bomb they have. You know a time bomb that can send you back in time... what? Don't give me that confused look go read this issue and see for yourself. Next we see Harley Quinn making the little kids laugh which causes a gaurd to come in giving Harley a chance to kill him so her and the kids can escape. See she's not useless. This issue ends with Manta doing something very stupid. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise shits getting intense definitely can't wait to get the annual to see how this all goes down. This definitely has to be my favorite issue. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Harley Quinn was so cute with the kids... till she killed the gaurd so I'm sure they're tramatized now.

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Saturday, September 12, 2015

Review: Convergence #2

This issue opens up with Grayson and his son trying to get on a ship as the world is coming to an end. Graysons son ends up getting on a ship but before it can take off it gets blown up. Well that's gotta make you feel great. You basically signed your sons death sentence without knowing. Grayson wakes up after Yolanda keeps yelling at him. Geez let a man sleep. Anyways Taloes shows them the worlds that are supposed to fight each other yet none of them seem to want to till he sends robots to slaughter them. Well this is getting intresting.. hold on gonna make myself some popcorn. Superman gets lose and decks Taloes in the face. Green lantern connect with the worlds energy and uses it on Taloes. Um cool how you exploded all the energy on him but won't that just make him stronger. See told you his taller and bigger. Bad idea green lantern. Oh looks like he left which probably means something worse is being planned. Green lantern tells everyone that when he connected to the world he felt Taloes fear of a city underground that could be his weaknesses. We see Batman inject himself with miraclo. Something tells me that's not gonna end well for him. I mean heck if it turned slade willson in the arrow tv series bad won't it turn him bad? Batman and Grayson go to another gotham where they meet another Batman. This issue ends with Green lantern, Superman, The Flash, and Yolanda finding a man named Deimos. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely has me interested. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Something tells me that Deimos is worse than Taloes.

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Review: The F1rst Hero #2 ( Fight For Your Life )

This issue opens up with some guy driving a car and getting in a crash. We see some guy calling for help as money falls from the sky after the wreck. Um why call for help? Why not just grap as much money as you can and run. Heck that's what I'd do. Next we see the match with Odinson end and Jakes friend drag him down to the ring. Jake gets pissed and starts asking questions which results in Odinson coming down and fighting him. Well that escalated quickly.  Dam Jake you're getting your ass kicked... ok I take that back now your kicking his ass but now your friend knows you're an extrahuman. After Jake beats Odinson him and Cooper get in a fight. This issue ends with Cooper pulling a gun on Jake and threatening him and his family which causes Jake to get mad and grab Cooper asking him what'd stop him from killing him in that moment. Artwork was ok. Story wise pretty good definitely has me interested to see how Jake handles his friend and Odinson. I give this issue a 7 out of 10. Seriously if someone gets in a reck and money flies everywhere just grab all the money you can and run.

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Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #16

This issue opens up with Spider-Man fighting Iguana and his army of reptiles. Is it me or does it look like Spider-Man is getting his butt handed to him. Anyways Aunt May calls Peter Parker right as he's fighting Iguana and ask if him an Anna Maria are still coming over for dinner. Well I have no clue who she is so looks like I'll have to go find a volume of the supior Spider-Man. Next Peter gets a call from Anna Maria... wait now Peter is kicking butt how does that work. I mean shouldn't the phone conversation be distracting him? Now I'm gonna have to talk on the phone and drive to see if it makes me a better driver. Anyways Spider-Man takes down Iguana. Next we meet Mark Raxton who used to be the Molten Man. You know what instead of buying a volume I'll just google this stuff beforehand so I can act like I actually know who the character is. We find out the names of the companies looking to build the super villain prison. Oh hey Roxxon I know that company from the Deadpool series they definitely can't be trusted. Thisissue ends with Mark Raxton hiring the ghost to kill Peter Parker. I'm guessing that's who he is with the pun he made and the way you could see through his legs. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good even though I'm confused on who half the people are. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember if you talk on the phone while doing something you'll become better at what you're doing.

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Review: Spider-Gwen #1

This issue opens up with a bunch of teenagers vandalizing a billboard and one of them has the name Hobie. Let me guess he's gonna become the green goblin somehow. We some cop named officer grimm climb up to stop them but before he can the vulture flies in and takes him. Next we see Gwen Stacy looking at the news talking about she helped save all of reality and that she met a talking spider-pig that is loved by everyone on his world. Well they probably love him cause they want to eat him. I mean heck just reading spider verse and seeing him made me want to turn him into bacon. Anyways Gwens dad is at the hospital trying to call Gwen but not getting a response. We also see Foggy standing next to officer grimm as he lies in bed with a body cast on. Hey I know Foggy he's in that Dare Devil show on Netflix. Also officer grimms fate was pretty grimm. Next we see the mary jane members fighting. CAT FIGHT! Wait why is Gwen Stacy vandalizing the streets of new york? Oh to get the vultures attention... um sure as long as it's for the good of the city who gives a crap... not. This issue ends with Spider-Gwen falling towards the ground. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good for a first issue. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. I'm gonna be honest if I lived in a world with that talking spider-pig I'd definitely make bacon out of him.

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Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Review: Sworads Of Sorrow ( Vampirella & Jennifer Blood #1 )

This issue opens up with Vampirella telling us a little about her life and the monster she's hunting. Vampirella ends up finding the monster who turns out to be a devil-shaman named Tahqitz. Never heard of a devil-shaman now I'm gonna have to look it up after I write this review. Anyways Vampirella follows him through a sparkling pink light. Wait don't go towards the light! Next we meet Jennifer Blood who gives us her whole life story. To cut it short for you guys her dad was part of a crime family they kill him, mother kills herself leaving a suicide note behind for her daughter who looks for revenge gets married well that never goes well. Anyways back on track finally gets revenge, husband finds out what she did she kills him... hmm different turn from what I thought would happen to him. Her cousin takes the kids when she finally has a chance to get them back they fear and hate her. Anyways the courier gives vampirella her sword. I've seen better looking ones. This issue ends with Chastity Marks spying on Vampirella and Jennifer Blood. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise great first issue. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember if someone kills your family just forget about it or better yet don't get married till you get your revenge.

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Review: Harley Quinn #10

This issue opens up with Harley changing in the locker room with her other teammates as Sy sits and makes bets good thing is he's betting on Harley. I'd always bet on her :). Next we see Sky one of Harley Quinns teammates go up against a man dressed as a woman. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Skye ends up beating the man dressed as a woman. Phew glad I don't have to see that guy anymore. Anyways Harley goes up against Gandalf... I mean a really tall woman. Harley ends up getting knocked out. Wait why the sudden change of scenery? Oh I see guess this is something new they're adding to the story but it's not making sense why is there a giant with one eye hitting a glowing light. Definitely gonna read the next issue to see this unravel more. Anyways Harley Quinn gets some explosive gel from Sy rubs some on the tall woman causing her to exploded. Spaghetti anyone? Harley ends up going for a swim with her friends and biting them in the ass. Well now I know Harley is into kinky stuff. This issue ends with a mysterious person flying through the sky and right into Harley. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Is it odd that I'm hungry for spaghetti after watching the tall chick explode?

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Monday, September 7, 2015

Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #15 ( Spider Verse Epilogue )

This issue opens up with Mayday Parker going back to her world and Uncle Ben becoming a grandfather. Next we Doc Ock destroying the great web. Um idiot if you do that then you'll never be Spider-Man but hey obviously you're smart... not Spider-Gwen and another Spider-Man go back to their worlds since their not from earth 616. All the spiders from earth 616 fight Doc Ock while the others find out who the great weaver is. Well that's actually kind of a shocker but guess I should have seen it coming since Karn and him both wear a mask. The good spiders from earth 616 end up beating Doc Ock and sending him back in time so that Peter Parker can get his body back. This issue ends with Peter Parker, Silk and Spider-Woman getting back to their world. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise it was a pretty good ending. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember if you ever go back in time and find out what your destiny is just deal with it since it's your destiny theirs no way to stop it.

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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #15 ( Spider Verse Epilogue )

This issue opens up with Mayday Parker going back to her world and Uncle Ben becoming a grandfather. Next we Doc Ock destroying the great web. Um idiot if you do that then you'll never be Spider-Man but hey obviously you're smart... not Spider-Gwen and another Spider-Man go back to their worlds since their not from earth 616. All the spiders from earth 616 fight Doc Ock while the others find out who the great weaver is. Well that's actually kind of a shocker but guess I should have seen it coming since Karn and him both wear a mask. The good spiders from earth 616 end up beating Doc Ock and sending him back in time so that Peter Parker can get his body back. This issue ends with Peter Parker, Silk and Spider-Woman getting back to their world. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise it was a pretty good ending. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember if you ever go back in time and find out what your destiny is just deal with it since it's your destiny theirs no way to stop it.

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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #15 ( Spider Verse Epilogue )

This issue opens up with Mayday Parker going back to her world and Uncle Ben becoming a grandfather. Next we Doc Ock destroying the great web. Um idiot if you do that then you'll never be Spider-Man but hey obviously you're smart... not Spider-Gwen and another Spider-Man go back to their worlds since their not from earth 616. All the spiders from earth 616 fight Doc Ock while the others find out who the great weaver is. Well that's actually kind of a shocker but guess I should have seen it coming since Karn and him both wear a mask. The good spiders from earth 616 end up beating Doc Ock and sending him back in time so that Peter Parker can get his body back. This issue ends with Peter Parker, Silk and Spider-Woman getting back to their world. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise it was a pretty good ending. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember if you ever go back in time and find out what your destiny is just deal with it since it's your destiny theirs no way to stop it.

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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #15 ( Spider Verse Epilogue )

This issue opens up with Mayday Parker going back to her world and Uncle Ben becoming a grandfather. Next we Doc Ock destroying the great web. Um idiot if you do that then you'll never be Spider-Man but hey obviously you're smart... not Spider-Gwen and another Spider-Man go back to their worlds since their not from earth 616. All the spiders from earth 616 fight Doc Ock while the others find out who the great weaver is. Well that's actually kind of a shocker but guess I should have seen it coming since Karn and him both wear a mask. The good spiders from earth 616 end up beating Doc Ock and sending him back in time so that Peter Parker can get his body back. This issue ends with Peter Parker, Silk and Spider-Woman getting back to their world. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise it was a pretty good ending. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember if you ever go back in time and find out what your destiny is just deal with it since it's your destiny theirs no way to stop it.

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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #15 ( Spider Verse Epilogue )

This issue opens up with Mayday Parker going back to her world and Uncle Ben becoming a grandfather. Next we Doc Ock destroying the great web. Um idiot if you do that then you'll never be Spider-Man but hey obviously you're smart... not Spider-Gwen and another Spider-Man go back to their worlds since their not from earth 616. All the spiders from earth 616 fight Doc Ock while the others find out who the great weaver is. Well that's actually kind of a shocker but guess I should have seen it coming since Karn and him both wear a mask. The good spiders from earth 616 end up beating Doc Ock and sending him back in time so that Peter Parker can get his body back. This issue ends with Peter Parker, Silk and Spider-Woman getting back to their world. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise it was a pretty good ending. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember if you ever go back in time and find out what your destiny is just deal with it since it's your destiny theirs no way to stop it.

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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #15 ( Spider Verse Epilogue )

This issue opens up with Mayday Parker going back to her world and Uncle Ben becoming a grandfather. Next we Doc Ock destroying the great web. Um idiot if you do that then you'll never be Spider-Man but hey obviously you're smart... not Spider-Gwen and another Spider-Man go back to their worlds since their not from earth 616. All the spiders from earth 616 fight Doc Ock while the others find out who the great weaver is. Well that's actually kind of a shocker but guess I should have seen it coming since Karn and him both wear a mask. The good spiders from earth 616 end up beating Doc Ock and sending him back in time so that Peter Parker can get his body back. This issue ends with Peter Parker, Silk and Spider-Woman getting back to their world. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise it was a pretty good ending. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Remember if you ever go back in time and find out what your destiny is just deal with it since it's your destiny theirs no way to stop it.

Sites to check out:
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Review: Brandi Bare #1

This issue opens up with some girls having a pillow fight. Is this really what girls do in their spare time when they're all alone in a room together? Anyways some bear sarts talking to us. Wait am I high or something teady bears aren't able to talk. Next we see Brandi talking to her friend Xian about college. We also meet Brandis dad who watches porn even when his daughter is in the house. No wonder the mother isn't around I assume that's why. Anyways Brandis dad goes to the college and fixs a bookshelf. Oh wow they pretty much used their friend Rosie to suduce him into letting Brandi stay there. If you ask me Brandis dad is a creep I mean he watches porn with her talking teady bear while she's in the house so I'm guessing he probably does other stuff with it to. Next we meet Alice a fat chick who basically annoys the heck out of some emo chick. I'd probably run out of the room if I were her. Anyways the emo chick goes and buys some potion to use on Brandi and Xian. This issue ends with her opening the lid only to have the potion take her clothes off. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise seemed like something you'd read if you were out of your gored but in some ways good. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember if you buy some weird potion make sure it won't take all your clothes off before you use it.

Sites to check out:
www.dirkmanning.com
www.facebook.com/blackboxtv
www.newcomicday.net
www.superknockedup.com
www.comicfrontline.com
www.amberunmasked.com

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Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Review: Convergence #1

This issue opens up with Gotham city in flames. Oh hey look superman has come to save the day. Wait this guy sounds like an ass. I'm guessing he's one of the supermans that's a giant ass and can't handle if people trust someone else over him. We see the ground erupt and sends that universes Harley Quinn, Batman, Cyborg and the flash flying through the air. Superman flies around and listens as people scream for help. Well this opening is pretty dark. Oh hey a giant finger smashed him yay! :). He deserved what he got. Next we see a different Batman landing on the world we saw superman in convergence issue zero. Grayson, some weird looking flash, green lantern and Val all land in this world. Batman things maybe the something cosmic or whatever might have saved them before Darkside had a chance to kill them. No definitely not that but nice try Batman. Taloes shows himself to them and tells them where they are and that they weren't meant to be their without a city. Well it's your fault man. I mean you pretty much took control and have now screwed things up so that's on you buddy. This issue ends with Taloes telling all the citys to fight to the death. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise seemed dark for a dc book maybe try image or zenescope if you guys are going for dark and gritty. I give this issue a 7 out of 10. Remember don't choose Batman over superman or superman will become an ass hole and let us burn as we scream for help.

Sites to check out:
www.dirkmanning.com
www.facebook.com/blackboxtv
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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #14 ( Spider Verse Part 6 )

This issue opens up with Spider-Woman and Spider-Gwen fighting goblins oh ya Peter and the rest have come to save the day. Spider-Gwen saves herself from a green goblin. Dang if only the Gwen Stacy in the new Spider-Man movie would have done that. Anyways the whole Spider-Men and women go to the great hall to save silk and Maydays brother. The spiders and Inheritors lock in an epic battle. Wait is uncle ben really running away that fast? Man what a chicken. Stay and fight! Next we see things go wrong for mourln. Wait uncle ben didn't run away to save himself he did it to save Maydays brother to and had the pig swap places. Dang now I'm in the mood for bacon. Doc Ock ends up killing the master weaver. Yep this event is definitely not for kids. This issue ends with the inheartors getting thrown in the radioactive earth. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good even though it made me crave bacon at the part where the pig kicked mourln in the head. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Well I'm gonna go cook myself some bacon.

Sites to check out:
www.dirkmanning.com
www.facebook.com/blackboxtv
www.newcomicday.net
www.superknockedup.com
www.comicfrontline.com
www.amberunmasked.com

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