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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Review: Batman Rebirth #1

This issue opens up with Alfred picking guacamole off a tree. Is he gonna make some sort of famous guacamole dip with all the guacamole he's picking off the tree? If so I want to try some. Next we see him answer the door for some guy who is looking for some sort of offer. Well I don't have much money to offer you sir but I can offer you a word of advice. If you join the Batman as Robin you'll more then likely end up dead like all the other ones have. Anyways next we see Batman fighting some guy named Calendar Man who is so obsessed with them he got numbers tattooed on his head. So do the numbers on his head help people tell time? What time is it? It's two thirty according to Calendar Msns head. I mean you can check your phone to make sure it's right but Calendar Man is never wrong. So we see Batman beat the crap out of Calendar Man and then shock himself which allows him to shock the spores that are in the sky. Later on we see Bruce Wayne working out outside on his helipad. Dam my friend would be jelous cause if he tried that he'd lose his grip and fall to his death. It was funny cause for a moment there I thought Bruce was gonna lose his grip and the guy helping him get his company back would grab his hand and save him but Bruce caught himself before he fell. Also when it looked like he lost his grip on the next page it kinda looked like the guy was to worried about the papers being signed and was just gonna let Bruce Wayne fall to his death. Like phew glad I don't have to help him get his company back anymore. Anyways on to the next billionaire. Back in Batmans batcave we find out that Calendar Man dies in the winter and comes back to life after winter or whatever we also find out that there's a machine with more spores in it. We also find out the guys name who came for the offer and his name is Duke Thomas. Also I want the suit Batman gave him but in black. Also guys he won't be a Robin... so what will he be called then? And if he won't be called Robin does that mean he won't die like most of Batmans sidekicks? Anyways we see Batman stop the machine and Calendar Man come back to life which I did not want to see. This issue ends with Bruce and Duke kicking a tree. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good can't wait to read this new series. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. So we're they trying to cut down the tree with their feet or did it come to life and call them both dirty names? Take that tree! No you're a loser not me! Things I learned from this issue. Batman is Batman so don't mess with him unless you want your ass kicked. Also don't become his sidekick unless you want to die.

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