Review: All-new Wolverine #10

This issue opens up with Ulysses having a vision about Laura, Old Man Logan and lots of blood. Hey from the little bit I saw he might be sacrificing alot of animals for something. Also great Captain Fuck Face is in this issue and so is the racist guy who see ls the future. Next we see Old Man Logan wake up to whale sounds. For a minute there I thought my friends ex girlfriend would be in this issue. Yes she is a whale. Anyways later on some robbers break into Lauras apartment which causes all three of our Hero's to laugh. Man those guys are brave. Heck if I was them I would have backed out slowly once they started laughing. You jerks why'd you have to shoot Jonathan? Dam Gabby is badass. Note to self don't shoot Gabby's pet. Well those guys will probably feel stupid once they wake up. Also note to self don't try to rob Laura unless you want your ass handed to you. I'm Old Man Logan she's not from your future which means she won't do what your Gabby did in the future you came from. This issue ends with Captain Hydra and his men swarming Laura's apartment. Artwork was weird. The story was a psa for people thinking about robbing Laura's apartment. So I give this issue a 6 out of 10. I really hate Captain Hydra.

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Review: Scooby Apocalypse #2

This issue opens up with our main characters getting out of the safe zone. Later on we see Doctor Dinkley get attacked by one of her coworkers who is now a giant monster. Note to self don't work for top secret governments or scientist unless you want to turned into a giant monster that eats people then go ahead. Wait why are they all in a monitor room and not the fuck out of that shit hole? I think I've lost brain cells just by them being idiots and not getting the hell out of there. Finally they got some weapons and are moving. Wait if Daphnes family is so rich from bubble bath products then why doesn't she just stay in the family business instead of trying to make a TV show. Like hell if I invented stuff that people can use to have a bubble bath then you bet your but I'd stay in that business. Next we almost see Shaggy have a pda moment with his work crush who is also a monster. Um Daphne you just killed a human. I mean sure she looked like a monster and wanted to eat Shaggy but she was still a human. Oh great Daphne now her kids don't have a mom anymore. Does that make you happy? If so you are a sick sick woman. Anyways next we see them all crawling around in the vents trying to get to the garage. I'm surprised none of them feel like a tv dinner while crawling around in the vents. Finally they get to the garage and find a vehicle that some scientist was making that he calls his mystery machine. I'm guessing at some point there will be a dead flower along with a skull on both sides to fit the universe they're in. To see what happens next go buy and read this issue. Artwork was great. As for the story it was slow and made me lose a few brain cells so I give this issue a 7 out of 10. Things I learned from this issue. You could make a drinking game out of all the times that Norville tells someone to call him Shaggy. Shit gotta get some acohal and take a shot.

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Review: Uncanny X-Men #4

This issue opens up with Mystique dancing with the same dude at the end of the last issue. I was gonna type what the hell is his name but I just remembered it's Fantomex. Anyway there scene almost put me to sleep so I'm glad it was short. The whole scene with Magneto and Triage alone on Genosha gives you the feeling that shits gonna hit the fan there. Next we see some of The Dark Riders go head to head with Shen Xorn who beats them. Dam he is badass but so is his face or mask. I think if I ever start up cosplay that he'd be the first person I'd cosplay as. By the way have him and Iron Fist ever went head to head? If not I wonder who would win. Also if they'd all attacked him at the same time I'm sure they would have won but hey bad guys never think that shit through. Later on we see the rest of the Uncanny X-Men go to Egypt where they fight The Dark Riders. Um why is that dude orgasming by just seeing Archangel outside. My guess is that Apocalypse is inside him or something. Also dude chill out I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want you to bust a nut over him. Well that fight didn't go as planned. That last panel is just awesome. To see what I mean you should definitely go buy this issue or even the volume and read it for yourself so you can see what I'm talking about. Artwork was awesome. The story was great to I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Things I learned from this issue. If you jump out of a jet or airplane without a parachute while attacking your enemies it shows them how buck wild you are. Note to self do that shit so people will know how buck wild I am.

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Review: The Unbelievable Gwenpool #10

This issue opens up with an old couple trying to decide what to eat for lunch. DQ I mean if they have a DQ in that area they should definitely go eat ther- oh look Gwenpool is here to save her friends. Um Gwenpool I highly doubt threatening to eat them will make them hand your friends over in fact I think it'll just make things worse. See told you. Dammit cyborg superman is back... Gwenpool why are you aiming your weapons at the old people who opened this issue up? We finally see cyborg superman do something good. I'm sure any guy who says real men wear pink would be happy to see the next page with all of Gwenpools poole boys wearing her colors. Anyways shit hits the fan some more but luckily Gwenpool saves all her friends who then leave her at the end of the issue. No I'm not crying I'm just chopping an onion while writing this part :'(. Artwork was great. The story was funny and action packed at the same time so I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Things I learned from this issue. Captain Hydra would be very happy to know that Batroc freelances for Hydra.

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Review: Spider-Man/Deadpool #3

This issue opens up with Peter Parker in a hospital checking on Mysterio. Oh cool it's Dr. Deadpool :). Shit I need to do something that'll get me in the hospital so I can see Dr. Deadpool. Good thing Spider-Man came in before Deadpool could try and kill Peter Parker or else Deadpool would've found out his secret. Anyways next Spider-Man and Deadpool hang out. By hang out I mean Spider-Man puts some sort of spider tracker on him that is also a lie detector that zaps you if you lie. Um what happenes if they continue to lie and it just keeps zapping them? Would it short out or kill them eventually? I'm thinking if he hasn't already that Spider-Man might want to fine tune that thing so it won't kill someone who doesn't know when to stop lying. We get a few pages of Spider-Man and Deadpool fighting bad guys with his mercs for money before Spider-Man and Deadpool fight Styx And Stone. To see how the fight ends go buy and read this issue. This issue ends with a very cute moment. Artwork was great. The story was funny, action packed and added a cute moment in at the end so I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Things I learned from this issue. Deadpool is a very cool parent.

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Review: All-new Wolverine #9

This issue opens up where the last issue ended with shit still hitting the fan cause they clearly don't watch movies to know that opening an antique box would cause shit to hit the fan. Hopefully they learn from this experience which I highly doubt they will. Next we see Iron Man shoot a mini missle at Fin Fang Foom which did jack shit. Good thing Director Hill got him to stop before he could do anymore stupid stuff. Dammit Captain Marvel there are people in there so stop your shit. Also I really hate Captain Marvel. Later on we see Laura go down into Fin Fang Fooms belly where she meets up with Old Man Logan who is being eaten by stomach acid. Anyways outside shit is still hitting the fan as the hellicarier goes into the water. When did Gabby learn to use a jetpack? No Gabby you should definitely not be a fan of fuck face Captain Marvel. But the drunk guy in an iron suit is who you should definitely be a fan of. How is she a pro with that jetpack? I mean she just saved Laura and Old Man Logan before they got eaten again. We see Laura put the pheromones all over her clothes so she can use a jetpack and drive Fin Fang Foom away from civilization. Also that reference to when other monsters have been attracted to her makes me wonder if she counts her fans as monsters given something this issue mentions but does not show. Next we get to see Laura tell Gabby how she had to give all her clothes to Fin Fang Foom which makes me ask how'd you do that in midair? Like yes I know fuck face was with her but still. Did she take off the jetpack and take of her clothes really fast as she fell cause I highly doubt she's that talented. And if Captain Marvel helped her then fuck face would have the pheromones on her wich would be great if it would just eat her afterwards but I highly doubt that one happened to do how'd she do it? Also I'm sure some horny lonely nerds are probably pissed off that they didn't get to see her jetpack naked so that they cou- I'll cut myself off before I get myself in trouble. This issue ends with Old Man Logan saying something very shocking. Artwork was great. The story was mainly shit hitting the fan so I think this issue gets a 7 out of 10. Things I learned from this issue. Laura is very talented at taking all her clothes off while using a jetpack. Still would like to know how she did it just so it all makes sense but hey at least she can do something that just doesn't work in the situation she was in.

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Review: The Unbelievable Gwenpool #9

This issue opens up with us getting cyborg supermans back story. Wait he's actually a Doombot? Dam Squirrel Girl is hella old. Also before Skynet there was Dr. Doom and instead of John Connor there was Squirrel Girl. Hey John Connor seems like Squirrel Girl did a better job then you ever did. Someone tell her to stop Skynet before that fucker brings about the end of the world. Well that doesn't surprise me that the old dude became evil just because there were different people in the world. I mean most the ones now a days want the gays dead. We get back to the present where we see Gwenpool making a phone call while in the middle of a battle. Um shouldn't there be a rule for not being on your phone while fighting no matter how good you are at it. Well that didn't surprise me that her other plan didn't work like she thought it would. Miles was probably busy watching the Hulk get shot in the head at that point in time. That one police officer made me laugh. Like do you not see cyborg superman destroying the city right now or is Gwenpool so important that you don't give a shit if everyone else does or not? How you gonna arrest her if you two and cyborg superman are the only ones left huh? I really hope she doesn't come back in another issue. If she does she'd probably just lose the rest of her brain cells and let the world end even if she knew she could stop that from happening. After Gwenpool escapes we see her go back to her base where she meets a bunch of guys. Artwork was good. The story was mainly cyborg supermans backstory so I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Things I learned from this issue Officer Gray is horrible at her job and needs to be fired.

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