Review: Wytches #1

This issue opens up with some woman in a tree. How'd she even get in there. Anyways she yells for help and her son shows up. She tells him that someone pledged her to them. I'm guessing once you pledged someone there now the Wytches property. Note to self avoid Wytches or anyone who believes in them. Then he hits his mom with a rock and says pledged is pledged... man this kid is violent. I'm guessing dad told him to do that to anyone who tried climbing out of trees, which I would do but only if I didn't know the person or if it was some monster. Next we meet our main character Sailor Rooks and her dad Charles Rooks. Wait what about the story with Timothy and his mom? I want to know who pledged her to the Wytches. Scott Snyder there better be a back story for that sometime. Sailor goes to school and gets told that some guy likes to brush girls with his dick. I'm guessing Scott heard conventions like this in high school cause I sure as heck never did. Or maybe he just listened in on the conversations which just makes him seem like a creep. The chick that tells Sailor about dick brush guy ask her if she really killed some girl. Well that's not nice to ask on the first day. Actually maybe it is.. I mean heck you gotta make sure the new kid won't kill you at some point in time. We see a flashback to some chick basically being a bitch to Sailor and pulling a gun on her. Is it me or are the kids and teenagers in this issue violent. Now I'm gonna be scared to go near a kid or teenager for fear of getting my brains bashed in. This issue ends with Sailor screaming. Artwork was pretty good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if someone starts coming out of a tree hit them with a rock and run.

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Review: Solitary #2

So in this issue Tim spends months in solitary only to be taken out and killed over and over. Geez the warden has a bad temper if you ask me. Also I think the writer found it stupid how marvel and dc characters just die and come back to life. Next I'm going to cut my main characters neck open. Calm down writer. Anyways now your series is definitely way different from marvel and dc cause your character has died so many times. We also see a flashback of some guy fighting Tims dad explaining his whole plan. I'm guessing this is the hooded person who is always there when Tim dies. This issue ends with Tim getting sent to a very special prison. Artwork was pretty good. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember if you hate how marvel and dc kill off their characters just to bring them back to life and you write a comic series just kill your main character over and over to get all the anger out.

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Review: Outcast #4

So this opens up where issue three left of with detective lucke talking to Kyle. Luke ask Kyle for help. Let me guess Kyles gonna get the reverend involved.. yep knew it. I wouldn't involve the reverend. He's not a holy man so I don't see how he'll really help you with lukes partner and yes it's lukes partner who bit of part of Thersas tongue. So I was wrong in thinking Blake was her husband. I'm guessing Blake and her had an affair though. Luke I'd just let the deamon have its way with your partner. If it were me I wouldn't help him but hey you don't know what went on so. Anyways Kyle meets some lady while helping the reverend and she nearly kills Kyle over him trying to catch her so she wouldn't fall. If I were Kyle I'd just let her fall next time but hey he's nicer than me so bravo Kyle. Megan gets after her husband for beating up Donnie who used to beat her up or whatever. Dude tell her Kyle started it maybe she'll understand don't just sit there looking like an idiot. I mean she cares about Kyle so maybe she'll understand why you helped him beat Donnie up. This issue ends with Luke, the reverend and Kyle going into prison to get the deamon out of Blake. Artwork was pretty good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. I wonder if Blake is gonna eat someones flesh in the next issue. If so that'd prove my theory that the towns just poor and everyone's becoming canables so they dont starve.

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Review: Lock And Key #5 ( Welcome To Lovecraft )

So this issue opens up with some guy trying to light a smoke and a bus blowing up. Quick get your boat over to the blown up bus there's fire over there that'll light your cigarette for you. Hold on how'd Sam get on the boat so quick? I'm guessing he's a fast swimmer. Next we see Tyler lighting a lighter and burning his hand. I'm thinking there's to much stuff with fire in this chapter. I'm surprised my book hasn't started on fire yet. Bode goes to talk to echo also known as ring girl and tells her the knock knock joke his dead dad told him... really? Your dads dead and that joke is stupid. Ring chick jumps out of the well.. she gonna come out of my book next? Hold on guys I'm getting a call..... well that was an odd call, someone called me just to say seven days. Wait. Damit I knew something like that would happen with ring chick in this book. This issue ends with Sam holding Tyler at gun point. Artwork was really good. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Oh hell no now the chick from the ring is crawling out of my book.

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Review: Outcast #3

This issue opens up with some people named Thersa and Luke helping some guy named Blake and I'm guessing he used to be Thersas husband or boyfriend probably husband with how old these two look. Ok there kissing. Looks like their kissing session is getting intense... wait did he really just bite off part of her tongue? Well that's definitely gotta hurt. Note to self when kissing a girl keep your tongue out of her mouth if things start to get intense. What is with this series and eating flesh... wait now I get it it's cause the writer of the walking dead is writing this and zombies like flesh. Though I guess possed people could really eat people if they felt like it. Or maybe most the people in this series who are possed are just poor and out of food so theh eat other people or themselves. I don't blame them though cause like I said in my first review for this series if I got extremely hungry and didn't have food I'd eat myself so I wouldn't starve. Anyways back to the story. We see the reverend playing poker while drunk and smoking. Why is he the reverend and why does he think he can perform exorcist if he's not really that holy of a person? The reverend also says that god doesn't give a crap what you do so if you want to masterbate go ahead and do it. Ok I'll keep that in mind reverend. Next we see the old guy with a hat save a little girl named Holly. Who is this guy? Is he good or bad? Kyle has lunch with and old man who doesn't want to be alone after his wife died. See Kyles nice which proves that he's worthy of performing the exorcisms and not the reverend. This issue ends with someone coming to talk to Kyle. Artwork was pretty good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. After reading and reviewing this I'm suddenly hungry but I'm all out of food so I'll go chop off a few of my fingers and eat them.

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Review: Outcast #2

This issue opens up with Kyle talking to his mom who is in the hospital and has been for awhile... wait how'd that happen? Next we see the reverend giving a speech in church and Betsy and her kids are there. Really after he couldn't save your child and kyle beat the deamon out of him. I still think he did it just to try and get attention. Also did Betsy ever get her daughter to stop dating the guy who's older than her? How can this family still show up to church with smiles on their face after what's happened? To many questions but this series has got me hooked so far. Next we see some of Kyles past where he basically beats the shit out of some guy. Kyle needs to learn that beating the shit out of people doesn't always make everything better. We learn that later on he had good reason to beat the shit out of the guy though. This issue ends with some guy talking to Kyles mom and telling her something that makes her cry. Artwork was really good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember just beat the shit out of people like Kyle cause that'll definitely solve your problems.

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Review: Solitary #1

So in this issue we meet our main character Timothy Shawn Hill who is in prison for murdering people. I'm guessing this isn't gonna be your average superhero book. We also meet Warden Ames who hates our main character. I have a feeling he's gonna end up becoming a villain later on. Anyways they kill off the main character... wait really? That short? Oh sorry forgot there's more pages. Next we meet Jerry and his assistant Willie who are basically cutting open the main character. Really he came back to life. Just like every superhero comic nowadays. This issue ends with the main character being put in solitary. Artwork was really good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if you ever become a superhero you'll be invancable because no matter how many times you die you'll always come back.

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