Review: The Amazing Spider-Man #14 ( Spider Verse Part 6 )

This issue opens up with Spider-Woman and Spider-Gwen fighting goblins oh ya Peter and the rest have come to save the day. Spider-Gwen saves herself from a green goblin. Dang if only the Gwen Stacy in the new Spider-Man movie would have done that. Anyways the whole Spider-Men and women go to the great hall to save silk and Maydays brother. The spiders and Inheritors lock in an epic battle. Wait is uncle ben really running away that fast? Man what a chicken. Stay and fight! Next we see things go wrong for mourln. Wait uncle ben didn't run away to save himself he did it to save Maydays brother to and had the pig swap places. Dang now I'm in the mood for bacon. Doc Ock ends up killing the master weaver. Yep this event is definitely not for kids. This issue ends with the inheartors getting thrown in the radioactive earth. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good even though it made me crave bacon at the part where the pig kicked mourln in the head. I give this issue a 8 out of 10. Well I'm gonna go cook myself some bacon.

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Review: Tales From Oz #3 ( The Scarecrow )

This issue opens up with Lynessa and Zinna asking Bartleby to go and convenience the people of oz to bend their knees to the wicked witches. Don't do it man. They can't be trusted. Next we meet Tessa Bartlebys wife they talk about the mission the witches have sent him on and then they have sex in a field with a scarecrow watching them. Well he's getting the show of his life. Tessas family agrees to yield. Bartleby rides off and convinces a few people to yield but not all. Next we see him in some old mans cottage and tired. And the old man gives him a place to stay and some food. Bartleby wakes up to the village being slaughtered and almost gets killed by the old man. Kinda deserved it I mean after all he was stupid enough to trust the witches. Tessa ends up being turned into a scarecrow and being burned. This issue ends with Bartleby being turned into a scarecrow to remind him of Tessa. Oh the irony. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise good expect for the part where they did it in a field that's unsanitary. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Well I'm gonna go have sex in a field now see you guys later :).

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Review: Max Ride First Flight #1

So this issue opens up with Max having a dream about erasers chasing her. No not the ones you use at school. Ones that are part man part wolf so basically a wearwolf. Next we see Max wake up from her dream and narrate her life story and how Jeb was a scienctest at the school and saved them. Be warned the next few parts piss me off. We meet Maxs family. Nudge, Angel, Iggy, Gazzy, Fang. We see that they're a normal family who cooks and eats together minus the parents. Anyways the erasers come crashing through the windows and attack them. Actually in the book they were outside picking berries. We see that the kids have wings from the experiments at the school. Wait what the fuck? Why is half their wings metal that was never in the book either. Plus they didn't fear Ari at the school he was a little kid when they were there not a full grown eraser. Anyways Ari takes Angel. I count three things they got right that was in the book. Gazzy explains that he's the Gasman cause he knows how to work computers and blow things up. Actually Nudge was better with computers and Gazzy farted a lot and blew things up so half of that's wrong. This issue ends with Max getting shot by a hand gun and falling off a bridge. Um that never happened either. She got shot by a shotgun and ran into the woods. Also why have they turned Fang into a self absorbed douchbag? Artwork was ok. Story wise it was totally opposite and didn't match so I give this issue a 5 out of 10. Remember don't read this series in comic book form.

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Review: Sworads Of Sorrow #1

In this issue we meet Jungle who's running from a dinosaur with kids in her arms. Well ken ham will be very disappointed. I'm sure if he read this he'd be saying no the dinosaur is a vegetarian not a meat eater. Next we meet Red Sonja who is singing herself as she lays in a desert. Wait how'd she get in this situation I thought she was badass? Anyways next we meet Vampirella who goes up against someone called the crow. Then we meet kato and Jennifer Blood. Oh ya and Dejah Thoris. Well if I'm counting correctly the traveler will have more warriors than the prince who just summoned creatures to protect him from all women... but your warriors are women so how's that gonna work? Anyways the traveler sends some guy to give all the chicks we just met a sword plus some lady named lady greystone. Wait who's that? I've never heard of her before. This issue ends with the prince making some boring speech. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise great introductions. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember don't summon monsters to help protect you from women if you have some working for you.

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Review: Convergence #0

This issue opens up with Superman in... where is he? Hey you with all the eyes wheres superman? Brainiac tells superman that he's somewhere where time and space don't exist and that viral dox served his purpose. Not very explanatory Brainiac. Also who is viral dox? Any of my readers want to let me know if you know. Anyways next we see superman chained up and getting shocked. I'm gonna leave for a moment and let superman and Brainiac have their fifty shades of gray moment. Anyways superman finally gets out of the tourter chamber and meets a new Brainiac one that isn't all metal... geez my head hurts already. Anyways superman ask to go home so Brainiac shows him all the cities he has with all the different people. Superman flips out about this and destroys a bunch of Brainiacs. This issue ends with Brainiac sending superman away. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise.. um I'm confused. I give this issue a 7 out of 10. After reading this I need to take a few pills to help my headache go away.

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Review: Colder #5 ( The Bad Seed )

This issue opens up with Declan getting his fingers chopped off. Finger overkill. Jeez seeing so many fingers being chopped off and hearing how much swivel loves them is enough to drive anyone insane. Hey you. Ya you reading this you have nice fingers :). Anyways swivel pulls some of Declans memories out of his head and shows them to Reece. Basically we see that somehow Declan resisted the urge to harvest once. Wait if he did it once he can do it again right? Declan stabs swivel in the face wich does nothing to him. I think Declan needs to watch more horror movies so he understands that the monster doesn't die off so easily. This issue ends with Declan chopping off the rest of his fingers causing swivel to fall off a bulding. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise to much to do with fingers. I give this issue a 6 out of 10. Remember you have nice fingers and should let me have them... shit!

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Review: Wytches #5

This issue opens up with a mood chart. Next we see Charlie trying to tell his wife who Sailor is that they have a daughter with that name but then the cop Mr. Petal walks in... hmm that name sounds kinda like a hippie name. Let me guess he works for the extreme tree hugging hippies that put people in trees. Yep knew it he just tried to shoot Charlie. Charlie ends up getting Petals gun and makes him lead him to the big secret base of the extreme tree hugging hippies. Petal tells Charlie how he's extremely old and how he can get up from anything. Even if Charlie shoots you in the head or chops your head off and rips your heart out? Charlie ends up putting something called stink all over his body and in his mouth. Well I don't think I'd ever put that stuff in my mouth but over my body ya. Yes he just shot Mr. Petal... seriously that guys still talking. Does he ever shut up? Next we see Charlie clim down the tree till he finds Sailor. This issue ends with Petal letting the extreme tree huggers eat him but as they eat him he says something very important. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise it has me on the edge of my seat wanting to read the next issue. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Remember if someone has Petal for a name they're definitely a hippie.

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