Review: Deathstroke #5

This issue opens up Batman asking Deathstroke why he's in gotham. I agree with Harley Quinn Batman it's not like he's gonna just confess everything like they do in the movies. Next we see Batman and Deathstroke fight. I wonder who's gonna win this fight. I hope Deathstroke does but then he'd kill Batman. Well looks like Batman is beating the crap out of Deathstroke. Well actually Deathstroke is letting him but still he's getting the crap beat out of him. Finally Deathstroke is getting some blows in. And now Batman is back to beating the crap out out of him. Man this fight is getting intense so I think I'm gonna go make some popcorn. Ok guys back from making popcorn. Looks like Batman and Deathstroke are still fighting. Next we see Deathstroke tell Batman that he's looking for his son and that Batman is in his way so if anything happens to his son he'll hold Batman responsible which distracts Batman giving Deathstroke the chance to slam him into a wall. Wait why is Batman smiling. I'm guessing that's not a good thing Deathstroke you might want to- well Batman hit him pretty hard before I could finish my sentence. Next we see Harley jump out one of the buildings windows while some presents tic. Next we see the building blow up and Harley search the ruble for Deathstroke. Next we see Rose Wilson and Jericho meet with Possum. Um Rose you shouldn't trust him he's not a good guy. Possum uses some sound from his phone to put Jericho down for a bit. This issue ends with Odysseus holding Possums head. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good can't wait to see how this arc ends. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. So now that Possums head severed from his body that means he's really dead and won't come back right?

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Review: Star Wars Shattered Empire #2

This issue opens up with Captain Duvat getting a message from the emperor. Well not the emperor himself but someone in a weird red looking suit. The emperor or video of the emperor tells him to start up operation cinder. Dude that could he any old many saying that. Next we see a space ship fight which the rebels win again. Can't we see one fight that they lose. I mean come on find better bad guys with accurate aim so you won't always lose. Next we see Shara get assigned to be princes leias escort. I have to say even in comic form she still looks hot even without that outfit she had on in the last movie with Jabba. Next we get to see boring diplomatic talk... huh what the issue ended already sorry that last part bored me to sleep. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise um. Ya um... yawn. I give this issue a 6 out of 10. I think the comic shop I go to added this series to my hold so if I get more issues hopefully it'll get better or you'll see short boring reviews like this after I read an issue of this series.

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Review: Darth Vader #1

This issue opens up with Darth Vader going to the planet that Jabba the hutt is on and killing two of his gaurds. Hmm I wonder what Jabba did to piss him off. Next we see Vader and Jabba talking about a deal. We also see more of Jabbas men die as they try to attack Vader. After hearing that he killed two gaurds I think I'd stay away from him but these idiots seem to think they can take him. Jabba ends up acepting Vaders deal. Next we see Vader and the emperor talking. Is it more or does it seem like the dark side has a lot of angry people. Join the dark side and you can rule the world. Also you'll always be angry and get bitched at like the emperor is doing to Vader. Dude Vader he's older then you all you'd have to do is use the force and snap his neck if that's possible. Plus I've seen the movie where you kill him so I think it'd be pretty easy for you to kill him right her and now. The emperor gives Vader an assignment to go to tatooine. His home planet huh. Going there would probably make him more angry since I'm sure a lot of the memories are painful and make him angry. Next we see Vader talk to two bounty hunters one he wants to capture Luke Skywalker alive and he wants the other to spy on some guy who met with the emperor in secret. You getting jelous Vader. Also I get the feeling that guy is gonna be bad news for Vader. This issue ends with Vader standing by burning buildings and a bunch of dead bodies. Yep definitely make him angry going there. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10.  Well after reading this issue I'm angry so I'm gonna go punch someone in the face for no reason and walk off like nothing happened.

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Review: Midnighter #4

This issue opens up with some drunk guys riding in a taxi. If they start singing friday or saturday then I'm closing the comic. We see the drunk idiots go to a hotel and into a secret room where a vampire is chained up. One of the drunk guys stakes the vampire as it pleas for help. How are you a hero? It's not like it was out attacking people. Plus it was chained up and pleaing for it's life and normally things or people who plea for their life aren't gonna do killings anytime soon. Next we see Dick Grayson and Midnighter at a restaurant talking about Batman and eating. I'd like to see and issue of Midnighter where it's just Midnighter and Batman fighting. Not the new Batman though cause I doubt he's as awesome as the old Batman. Next we see Grayson and Midnighter go into a sona where the drunk idiots sre and beat the shit out of them. See definitely not heros. Next we see Grayson and Midnighter go into the hotel that the drunk idiots went into and kick a ton of ass. The real vampire or sorta vampire poldidorin faces off against Midnighter and gets his head split in half from Midnighters hand. Well dam this guys good. Note to self if I ever get in a fight in the future mske sure I have someone like Midnighter on my side. This issue ends with us meeting noi akayevich who has a really bad plan in mind. *stuffs face with popcorn* this is getting intense. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good has me waiting to read the next issue. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. I have a feeling the next three issues are gonna be pretty action packed and that things are gonna get worse for Midnighter.

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Review: Starfire #1

This issue opens up with Starfire telling a sheriff her life story. We find out that Starfires name is koriand'r and she has an older sister named Komand'r who became the new ruler where her parents died in an attack from another ailen race. That's gotta suck. Komand'r surrenders so her people can live. The aliens who won turned Kori into a slave. Note to self never join a bunch of people who just want peace or we'll lose if we ever get in a fight with someone who doesn't want peace. Anyways we learn that Kori made friends with the other slaves and started a revolt that got her off that planet thus bringing her to ours after she got a ship and escaped. Well that was definitely a long introduction. Feel like I just read the first chapter of a book. Next Kori shows sheriff gomez that she can fly... wait is she really that open about everything she can do? I mean superman is an ailen and superhero yet he doesn't fly himself to work. Next we see Kori and the sheriff go to a jewelry store where Kori gets three big ones for some of the jewls she has. No not three big elephants Kori. Also if you tried to put three big elephants where your pockets are your pants wouldn't stay on for long and some guys would get a nice show. Next we see Kori and the sheriff go to a bar. Would acohal have the same affect on aliens as it does on humans? That's all I could think of when I read these panels. We see to guys get in a fight over Kori which causes her to use her starbolt. I'm guessing that's what it was. Also I'd still let her stay at my place rent free after that. What can I say I like tough women... stop staring at me like that. Next we see Kori buy some new clothes which causes the sheriff to flip out cause they're not pants. Hey I agree with the clothes guy it'd be a sin to hide legs like that. Hey at least I'm not staring at her jugs like most the geeks have done while reading this issue. Next we see Kori and the sheriff go to some old ladys house that's letting Kori stay in a trailer. If I seen any sign of hillbillies or rednecks in the next few issues I'll flip a bitch. Anyways we see Kori making out with Boone the old ladys grandson I'm guessing. Wait how is him kissing her saying he's always horny? It's not like he was groping her breast while they made out or had his fingers in a certain area. Next we see Kori take a shower and give Boone a surprise after she's done. See he's not horny he went and got her another towel to cover up her jugs and other stuff. This issue ends with the power going out and Kori going outside and yelling x'hal. Who's x'hal? Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely a fun read. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. I wonder how many geeks cried that they didn't get to see Kori naked in the shower.

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Review: Brandi Bare #2

This issue opens up where we left off with Dylan running across the school yard naked. I'm taking a guess that a lot of perverts buy this series or geeks who don't get any. And no I'm in neither of those categories. Anyways Dylan sneaks all the way through campus without being seen till she gets to her room where Alice is playing a dungeon board game with some boys. Next we see Brandi wake up and take a shower. Also I think the writer and artists are trying to lure guys in with the covers and pages like this. Oh look at that Brandis in the wrong bathroom. Brandi gets a surprise when she turns around to see Todd. My mormon friend would probably tell me that me reading these books is a sin and that I'll burn in hell for it. To that I say oh well. Anyways we see Dylan go back to the old ladys shop and gets a necklace totem that looks like the devil. Dylan remember last time. Definitely wouldn't take that totem if I were you. We see Dylan in her room with Alice and the totem trying to figure out what the words say. Um hello your in a room with a geek ask her I'm sure she knows what it says. Dylan decides not to use the totem and leaves it in the room with Alice. Bad idea. Next we see Dylan yelling at Xian, Brandi and Rosie when they all hear a loud boom. Let me guess Alice got the totem to work. Yep knew she'd figure it out and something bad would happen. Do all the magical items in the old ladys shop have to be a bit or way revealing or is that just the writer and artists making sure all the guys read this series just to see a half naked girl shower, a naked girl streak and a giant blue monster with little clothing. Anyways Brandi and her friends end up getting the totem off Alices neck. This issue ends with all four girls showering together. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good and weird. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Well now I'm gonna post this on a comic shops facebook page that I go to to get all the guys to read this series. Kidding... not.

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Review: Red Hood Arsenal #1

This issue opens up with Arsenal also known as Roy Harper out in the desert alone monologing to himself. I thought only Silk, Spider-Man, and Spider-Gwen did that? Anyways next we see some cars pull up and a chick with long black hair steps out of one. She looks like she'd be a tom boy which means she'd be rough in bed. Also her name is really Tara Battleworth... what kind of last name is that but it also proves my point that she'd be rough in bed. Anyways next we see Arsenal send her a picture of himself asking her to pick up... is he stalking her now? Also is he that good with tech that he was able to hack other computers and phones just to get her phone number. Seems kinda desperate if you ask me. Tara answers and ask him what he wants which he tells her he's there to help and that her deal with the senator and the cartel is gonna end #badly. Really does dc comics really think people are gonna take like that in the future. Actually scratch that some people already do and iy bugs the heck out of me. Next we see one of the guys from the cartel I'm guessing grab the senator and hold him hostage. Bad idea buddy not gonna end well. See Arsenal just shot an arrow at one of your cars which is gonna blow up in a few seconds cause it's an arrow bomb. Next we see the arrow bomb blow up causing the car to blow up to. See told you. Next we see Arsenal kick ass and even kill a guy... really.  Not that that's bad but I thought him and green arrow didn't kill people anymore. One of the cartel guys shoots the senator and holds Tara hostage. And here I thought Arsenal would have taken them alll down without the senator getting shot guess he's not as awesome as green arrow. Wait how is the senator still alive. Dam he just killed that guy and saved Tara. Next we see that the senator was actually red hood disguised as the senator. He seems way better at this stuff then Arsenal I'll give him that. This issue ends with Arsenal and Red Hood fighting people on the eiffel tower. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good lots of action. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. I so wish I had Red Hoods tech.

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