Review: The Amazing Spider-Man Renew Your Vows #1

This issue opens up with Peter Parker at home with his wife Mary Jane and his daughter Annie. We see him refilling his webs. He does that stuff in front of his daughter... is that a good idea. See she's already saying bad guys and spidey. Mary Jane tells Peter thst he needs to spend more time with his family and that the only time he changed his daughters dipper was when he made one out of webbs.. is that even good for a baby? Plus wouldn't the shit and piss just leak through it. Next we see Peter Parker go to the daily bugle with pictures of Spider-Man beating every other superheroes villans. I'm guessing the others are on vacation ot have just given up being superheros. Next we see Spider-Man go to the avengers mansion. They have a mansion now? Is that such a good idea? Anyways we learn that most the superheros are being killed off by some big company that experiments on superheroes or they've gone missing. Well if that wouldn't make you want to quit I don't know what will. We learn that the prison holding Venom just had a big break out which the avengers don't care to handle. Well at least Spider-Man would take care of them. Is it me or does it seem like the avengers just gave all the civilians the middle finger to save their own kind. We see Spider-Man go home to save his wife and kid from Venom. Looks like Venoms getting his ass kicked. Next we see the avengers fighting Regent a overpowered villain. Finally someone made a villain that doesn't get his ass kicked. We see the hulk fight Regent and get his arm torn off. Dam that was awesome. *stuffs face with more popcorn*. Next we see Spider-Man fight Venom in a burning building. Mary Jane ask one of the firmen if anyone else is in the building and they tell her that it’s just Spider-Man and Venom. Mary Jane tells Spider-Man that it's just him and Venom which- wait is he grabbing a pull that's keeping the building up? Next we see Spider-Man standing next to the collapsed burning building with his wife and daughter. We also see the pole that Spider-Man tore out the building on Venoms lifeless hand. Wait did he just kill Venom? I don't blame him I would have done the same thing if it were my family. This issue ends with Peter Parker walking his daughter across the street as the vulture steals some ladys purse. Um Peter aren't you gonna get your Spider-Man suit out and stop him? Hey don't walk away when someones getting robbed and I ask a question. Get back here and do something! Artwork was pretty good. Story wise seemed like this book is about superheroes giving up. I give this issue a 7 out of 10. Remember if you're a superhero don't just give up if you're gonna worry about your own kind and not help people when a lot of prisoners break out.

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Review: Batman Beyond #1

This issue opens up with a gang of jokers attacking a bulding that protects gotham from brother eye well something in that building protects gotham. Also brother eye kinda sounds like a religious group. Anyways the gang of jokers get the the place where a cube is called the veil. Wait if the gaurds are dead how does their dna still work for all the security stuff. People might want to fix that shit in the future so stuff like this doesn't happen. Anyways they start a protal call when they take the cube out. Oh hey look Batman has come to save the day. Wait that's not Batman it's Batman Beyond. Anyways he takes out the gang of jokers and puts the cube back where it was so brother eye doesn't find gotham. Next we see Tim Drake go to some woman called Nora Boxer. Who's Nora Boxer? I never read the weekly series so I have no clue who she is. Guess I'll look her up online after I write this review. Nora tells Tim about a place called the lodge that holds prisoners and has some of Terrys friends. It sounds comfy if you don't know what the place is but after Tim hearing what it is why would he want to go there? I mean I wouldn't which is why I wouldn't be a very good superhero. Next we see Tim go to the lodge and scout out the place. You might want to move around instead of staying in one place Tim. Cause normally you'll get caught if you stay in one place while you scout out a dangerous place. See robot superman is already attacking you. Tim shocks Robot superman sending him flying and making some of his functions fail. Superman zero Batman Beyond one. Next we see alfred and Tims suit go offline. I have a feeling that brother eye is gonna infect alfred with a virus that'll do something to Tims suit and also help him find gotham when Tim goes back there. This issue ends with Tim going in the lodge and coming face to face with someone. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good definitely will keep reading. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. I'd totally be part of that joker gang in the future. Not cause I'm the villan type but because clowns are awesome and I'd totally be up for being a clown with a bunch of other clowns.

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Review: Doomed #2

This issue opens up with a gym class scene. Oh no having flashbacks to my days in school. Anyways we see the typical every kid gets picked and the only left is the worst player or geek. Though I agree with all the kids I wouldn't want him on my team either. Wait is the coach really making fun of him and telling all the kids not to make his nose bleed much? Dude that's not right. I'm sure glad I never had teachers like that. Next we see the geek pull out some gun and kill the coach who was an alien. Ya even after that I still wouldn't want him on my team. Next we see sunburn guy climbing up through the sewers and saying his skin or blood feels like it's on fire. Well maybe next time you won't stay in the tanning bed so long. Anyways a bus hits his head and goes flying. This definitely will not make him look like a good guy. We see sunburn guy save a chick from the bus but also kick it so hard that it goes flying. Hey quit causing damage you idiot. Next we see the lady wake up and some police come and tell him to stay away from the women and one of the cops says that could be confusing... um how? Anyways sunburn guy raises his hands and disappears in a bright purple light. I take it he's trying to a magician now with that dissappearing act. Next we see Reiser turn back into a human and go back to his apartment. This issue ends with the two cops from earlier finding the geek down in the subway tunnel from issue one and telling him to step into the light causing the same cop to say how that'd be confusing. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise um weird. I give this issue a 6 out of 10. So what is it with those scenes with the cops? Cause if they think those panels are funny they're not.

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Review: Silk #4

This issue opens up with Silk fighting Galactus well Dr. Richards playing Galactus. Wait who's Galactus? I'm fairly new to marvel so I don't know who he is. Isn't he the guy who devours worlds? Never mind I'll look him up later after I write this review. Anyways Silk ends up kicking his ass in the virtual game or whatever which shows him that she's fast. Dr. Richards ask Silk how long she was in the bunker for. This question makes her mad since Peter told him. I have a feeling Peters gonna get hurt for telling him. Dr. Richards tells Silk that she might have anxiety and that she should see a therapist he knows to get a second opinion. Next we see Peter and Johnny Storm talking about Silk. Oh hey look there she is and there's her fist connecting with Peters face. Note to self if a girl tells me something personal that she doesn't want other people to know don't tell people or I'll end up getting hit in the face. Anyways we see Johnny ask Silk on a date and she says yes. Note to self when interested in a girl just ask her out. Next we see Cindy at the bar I'm guessing with her friends dancing. See Dr. Richards she doesn't have anxiety cause people with anxiety can't dance. At least it's true for me cause I know when I get anxious I don't want to randomly dance. Next we see a flashback of Cindy when she was younger and she had problems controlling her powers. I probably would have thought a giant spider came into her room and tried to eat her with how many webs there were either that or she rearly cleaned her room and had a ton of spiders in it. We see Johnny and Cindy go on a date where they're not even talking. This just got akward excuse me while I stepp out of the room till things get less akward. Johnny and Cindy jump of the balcony of the place. Did you guys make sure people weren't watching. Cause if I'd seen that I would have got everyones attention and been like hey those to just committed suicide. Also did they order food then ditch before the food got there? If so I'm sure the people who brought their food probably go pissed since they'd just cooked them a nice meal. This issue ends with Black Cat getting a surprise at the repairman's house. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty good. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. They should have picked a better name for the repairman cause now that I think of it it kinda sounds like a porn name. Or like a porn vido is gonna start when he pops up.

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Review: Doomed #1

This issue opens up with the main character lying on concrete with that looks damaged. Wait why does our main character look like he's been out in the sun for a long time? Was he in a tanning bed before this. Anyways we see our main character Reiser before he looked like a red hot chili pepper, before he became a walking red apple, a walking talking tamato. We see that he interns at s.t.a.r labs. Hey Barry Allen hangs out there in the flash tv series. We also see that his aunt thinks her dog needs braces. Wait is that really a thing? Now I'm gonna have to look that up online. We see that him and some prepey looking girl get the worst jobs an intern can have. Has as sunburn guy says everyone starts somewhere before they become great or sometimes fail. Next we see Reiser at his aunt place and we see that her dog doesn't like our main character very much and his doesn't like him either. Reiser pulls out a tennis ball for the dog and throws it out the window without even looking causing the dog to die... wait did the dog just die. Boo dc don't kill off animals not funny at all. Anyways Reiser and prepey girl clean a cleaning room actually more like he does and she just watches. See what I mean when she's prepey. She's probably got a rich family to which is how she probably got the internship. Next we see Reiser go to some apartment with a girl who seems like she's just trying to get in his pants so she can use him. See she's already showering and telling him to come in there and talk to her. This issue ends with Reiser getting sunburnt and falling through the building. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise not sure I'm feeling it especially the dog part but I'll continue to read the series till it ends cause I hear it ends soon. I give this issue a 6 out of 10. Remember if you have a tennis ball for a dog don't throw it out the window or the dog will follow it and probably get killed.

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Review: The New 52 Futures End ( Harley Quinn #1 )

This issue opens up with Harley Quinn in a crate. I bet some of the fanboys at this part thought hey ship her to my house and if you can't ship her to my house ship a blow up doll that looks just like her. Oh also make sure my parents don't know what it is. Some of the fanboys would deny this but they'd definitely be lying. Anyways we see Harley Quinn in the back of a plane feeding dogs some of her bacon. Aww how cute. See this is one reason why I love Harley Quinn cause she's an animal lover. Next the plane crashes and Harley Quinn wakes up on a deserted island. Well normally good things don't happen on deserted islands so we can all assume that something bad will happen. See already she lost her beaver... hey not that beaver you pervert the robot one that talks to her. Anyways Harley Quinn finds a soccer ball and draws a face on it and thinks of naming it wilson. Some guy I work with made a tape ball and named it wilson. Harley ends up finding her beaver and putting him around her neck. Next Harley meets the natives of the island who think she's a goddess. Ya she is. Harley ends up having them entertain her by having them get oiled up and fight. So basically wrestling. I take that back it's a fight to the death now that they threw knives in. The natives end up taking Harley up one hundred forty eight stairs just so she can meet their god king who is none other than Joker. Joker tells Harley Quinn what he did on the island and that they are to get married that night. No don't marry him it won't end well trust me I know cause I've already read this and seen into your futures end. Next we see Harley in a dress with a bunch of animals singing and helping her. Dang it was only a dream. Next we see Harley and Joker at the mouth of mount mukaka where the precher or ceremony guy says they both have to jump in the volcano after he finish the ceremony. See told you it doesn't end well. Also I knew her being on a deserted island wouldn't end well. She should have ran when she had the chance. The volcano ends up falling apart or erupting and sends Harley Quinn towards some palm trees. That looks painful but hey she's alive. This issue ends with a mysterious man coming to save Harley Quinn. Artwork was great. Story wise pretty good and cute. I give this issue a 10 out of 10. Harley Quinn looked beautiful in both dresses :).

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Review: Midnighter #3

This issue opens up right where we left off but from the villans prospective. We see Midnighter teloport to our villans while he's still on the phone talking to the chick we met in the last issue who tried to kill the people who run Windcrest. We find out that one of the villans is Multiplex. Hey I know him he was in the first or second episode of the flash except without that suit. Next we go back to before this moment and see him out at some bar I'm guessing with Jason and Matt... looks like to me like Matt is grinding on Jason and Midnighter doesn't seem to get angry. Next we see Midnighter go to some ladies house saying he'll find the people who took her daughter and make them pay while he gets her back. We see some old guy with something called the rohmer reactor with the little girl in it. Show this panel to your kid and they'll definitely avoid old people cause they'll think all of them are bad and want to take their life force from them so they can be young again. Midnighter jumps in. Actually right on top of some guy if I'm not mistaken and gets the little girl out and destroys the reactor. The little girl acts kinda afraid of him after that. Wait this little child is afraid of someone who's helping her. I mean ya he just crushed a guy but he flat out told you he was there to help. I'm guessing Amandas mother just lets her five or however year old she is just sit on the computer and not teach her right from wrong, evil and good. No wonder your daughter got kidnapped. Anyways we go back to where this issue started off but with a bunch of dead multiplex bodies. Dam. Note to self don't piss off badass superheros. Next we see Matt and Midnighter on top of a roof just just talking about the god garden and the gardener. I'm gonna take a guess that Matt is the big master mind who's giving out the stuff Midnighter is trying to get back. I mean heck he wasn't bothered by Midnighter coming home with a bunch of blood on him and hearing that he'd killed some guys. Any sane person would have run out of there. Get the point? This issue ends with Midnighter sneaking up on some guy. Artwork was pretty good. Story wise pretty bloddy but good. I give this issue a 9 out of 10. Remember don't trust old people cause if they get the chance they'll take your life force.

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